Not a Joke: Justin Bieber's 35-Minute Song is LIFECHANGING

Justin Bieber. Pop music goldmine, teen heartthrob/jailbait, and uh, the most epic music maker since Sigur Rós? If you just went "HUH?!" you are not alone.

Some dude named Nick Pittsinger took the Biebs' track "U Smile" and slowed it down by 800%, thus discovering the true nature and intent of Justin's sound - a 35-minute long, moody rollercoaster of astronomical proportions. It sounds like the soundtrack to every three-and-a-half hour movie saga ever made. It's colossal. It's tremendous. It's THE SOUNDTRACK TO APPROACHING THE GATES OF HEAVEN.

Put this on, then go lie down and just let the sounds take over your mind. Maybe these images of epicness will help you grasp the infinite nature of the Bieber, the sounds that would have Buddhist monks in Tibet screaming that they've achieved nirvana...

Pretty amazing, right? Now try and understand that what you just listened to, that amazing, orchestral, choral mastery of sound that completely captivated you body, mind, and soul... is this:

Yeah, MAJOR step down from the 35-minute epic. We think a lot of songs could use some sprucing up in the form of slowing down, and Idolator picked six that are definitely in need.